My Thoughts on Avengers: Endgame …

I don’t usually make a huge deal out of how much I love the Marvel films. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Spider-Man, Ant-Man, Black Widow … I think maybe I’ve posted one thing here and there on my Facebook. The most recent posts having come from just seeing the latest film, Avengers: Endgame. But rest assured, I am a HUGE fan of these films, and (like I tend to do way too much) I am also deeply invested in the characters.

Therefore, I’m about to go Marvel geek on everyone. I blame this on my being a writer who thinks of every possible scenario before I actually see a film. I attempt to work out every way a story could go, leading up to an absolutely epic ending (because we all knew Avengers: Endgame HAD to have an epic ending).

So, before I begin this post, be forewarned there are major spoilers ahead! If you haven’t seen Endgame (which I can’t imagine there’s anyone who’s a major fan out there who hasn’t yet), don’t read on. If you haven’t seen it and don’t care about spoilers, then please, do continue. 😉

Please keep in mind these are my thoughts purely as a viewer of the films. I have never read the comics and do not know what they did or did not change. These are my observations of the films one by one as they were released without any knowledge of how the comics played out.

I am going to talk about the very big thing that happened at the end of Endgame. At least, this was huge for me. Yes, my friends, this post is about Tony Stark. How could it not be? I am now going to put something to you that may or may not be true, but that I couldn’t help thinking about in the days following seeing the last Avengers movie (again, my writer’s mind at work here).

After I walked away from the theater, it occurred to me that while I didn’t see Tony’s death coming at the end, I should have. I realized, the Marvel films may have been preparing us for Tony’s death all along. Let’s look back on how many times Tony Stark cheated death.

In Iron Man (2008), before he even became a beloved super hero, he was fatally wounded and, by all accounts, should’ve died. Yet somehow, he ended up a prisoner with a man who planted a device in his chest to keep the shrapnel from entering his heart and killing him. What are the odds?

In Iron Man 2 (2010), we discover that the device created in the first film to save him, is now actually killing him. He should die by the end of the film, leaving us with no Tony Stark and completely heartbroken. But then, when there seems to be no hope of saving our favorite hero (or my favorite hero, depending on who yours is), boom! Tony discovers the key to his survival was right in front of him all along. He invents a new device and lives.

In The Avengers (2012), Tony comes together with a team of our heroes to defend New York City when Thor’s brother, Loki, attacks. In a last effort to save the city and all the innocent people still there, he flies a missile INTO SPACE and JUST makes it back through the portal before it closes. Even then, he appears quite dead when Hulk puts him on the ground after catching him, reviving only after a few heart-stopping moments and, in typical Tony fashion, then suggests they should all go to a Shawarma restaurant.

In Iron Man 3 (2013), Tony deals with some major PTSD from the events in The Avengers (2012). His fear of losing Pepper completely outweighs any fears he has for himself, leading him into even more dangerous waters. Tony does reveal in this film that he will do ANYTHING for the people he loves, bringing our hero to an ultimate character arc. There were a few moments in this film when I really believed this would be the end of our hero, but lo and behold he lives! This gave me the illusion that he would survive everything yet to come.

In Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Tony battles Thanos on a planet far, far from home. He gets the crap beat out of him by our villain and definitely loses this fight. Thanos is completely prepared to kill him, until Doctor Strange steps in, trading the Time Stone for Tony’s life. And of course (SPOILER) …

We now know this is because Strange had seen the ONE in FOURTEEN MILLION that they win this fight and it required Tony to die.

There were TWO more things that should’ve warned us Tony’s death was coming. The first one was Pepper’s presence at the battle. Come on. How many times has Pepper stepped up to fight with the Avengers? Um … never. So why would Doctor Strange bring her through one of his portals for the final battle against Thanos? Why would he think to himself, “I better go get Pepper Potts!”? Well, of course, because he knew Tony would need her at the end. At the time, this didn’t occur to me. I didn’t really think much of her appearance, or of how they made a point to let us know she was there.

The last warning came right before he died in Avengers: Endgame (2019). When Doctor Strange returns from the dead and Tony asks him if this is the ONE where they win, Doctor Strange looks at him pointedly and says,

“If I tell you, then it won’t happen.” (Not sure if that is the exact quote, but close enough ;)).

This should’ve been a BIG implication for us. But it wasn’t for me. Maybe because I really, really, REALLY didn’t want Tony Stark to die.

Everything depended on Tony taking those stones to save the world, which would certainly cost him his life. If he knew about it ahead of time, he would’ve been going over and over in his mind the different ways he possibly could manage to save the world and survive, for Pepper and Morgan’s sake. This would’ve probably made him hesitate when he needed to act, which would’ve cost the world EVERYTHING. Not knowing meant he had to make a split second decision to save the world, which he did. Because that was always who Tony was.

If he had time to think about things, he often made mistakes. Like in Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015). While Vision became an ally (the good thing that came out of this movie), creating Ultron, on the other hand, was a huge mistake and caused our heroes a lot of problems. But when Tony would simply be impulsive, acting on what was in his heart not his head, things always seemed to work out well (for the most part).

Watching and re-watching these movies has made me wonder if the writers intentionally weaved Tony’s destiny into the films, or if it simply came together that way by the end. Or maybe I’d just like to think this was all planned out from the beginning, giving viewers something to think about when they go back to watch the movies again. I just found it interesting that Tony survived so many things he shouldn’t have, only to make the ultimate sacrifice at the very end.

Well, not only … BECAUSE he HAD to make the ultimate sacrifice at the end. That’s why Doctor Strange willingly gave up the Time Stone. Because it wasn’t like someone else could’ve stepped in to do it. It HAD to be Tony.

So if you tie in all the other movies where Tony almost dies, but then didn’t, you can kind of put yourself in the mindset that it was because of THIS. This final act.

There. I’m done now. My two cents (or twenty) on the page. Funny, I realized I wouldn’t be able to let this go until I got it down in writing. This has always been the best way I can express myself. I mean writing is, after all, what I do. 😉


Cover Reveal, Endorsements, & Reviews!

Good Morning everyone!

I am so happy to announce I finally finished Book 3 of The Winter Queen Series! This was, perhaps, the hardest one I wrote so far. I was so certain I would be finished with it before the end of 2018, only to discover my characters had their own plans. New faces popping up and unexpected plot twists held me back from finishing when and where I thought I would. Then, the moment I finally wrote the last sentence, I was overcome with exhaustion and relief! Until I remembered now the editing had to start … 😉

But even with the long road of editing in my future, I am very happy with where this story is going. I had such a clear picture in my mind of how this ongoing tale would begin and how it would end. But the middle had always been a bit fuzzy for me. Now that I’ve battled through the in-between (books 2 and 3, respectively), I am looking forward to starting the finale! Book 4, Winter’s Light, has begun!

I am now excited to reveal the cover of Crown of Flames to you! Along with a little blurb to get you excited to read. 🙂


COF - 1The Almaër Dominÿe has risen from the flames …

Damari Kael has been transformed into the Almaër Dominÿe, as was foretold. But with this title, comes the responsibility of a people Damari knows nothing about. She knows only that their country is under attack, and she must go to war against those she once called family.

Clea Jandry has invoked a birthright she did not know belonged to her. In search of the Summer Flower to strengthen her weakening magic, Clea finds herself tested by a king long thought dead.

Far away, in the heart of Sunkai, Gelsey Malaki of the Night Wood attempts to hold the throne against a mounting evil. But Raphaela Kael’s power has increased since she left the Mother City for Kaldon, awakening a darkness which covers all the land in the evil of the Abyss.

In the north, Adlae Sundragon has received a message from the shadows. She now knows her fate and must act. Yet even as loyal men and women gather from across Nfaros to her side, she feels the Abyss growing stronger. Only in the Circle of the Sundragon—only within the crown of flames her family created—will Adlae find the answers to destroy the darkness.

Add Crown of Flames to your Goodreads list HERE.

This is one of my favorite covers so far! I was so pleased with how it came out, and struggled so much holding back from revealing it until now! I hope you find it just as captivating as I do.

I’m also excited to announce we already have a release date! Crown of Flames will release on June 7th 2019!!! Commit to memory and be sure to look for it!

Now, I have a request! In the past, I’ve always waited until the last minute to make this request, scrambling so close to my release date for assistance. So I thought I’d ask in advance this time around.

To all Authors: I need endorsements! I understand this is the third book of a series, and perhaps you are afraid of being totally lost if you haven’t read the first two books. As the author, I can tell you that there are certain themes in the novel that might warrant explanation from the previous two books. However, Crown of Flames stands pretty well on its own in my opinion and I hope, even if you haven’t read 1 & 2, that you will consider contacting me about writing an endorsement! Remember, release date is June 7th, so there’s lots of time to read! You can find me on Facebook and private message me, or contact me here through my blog. 🙂

To all Readers: I need reviews! If you’ve read books 1 & 2, please consider leaving a review for me on Amazon, Goodreads, or any other social media site where my books appear. But I’d also like to have two or three advance reviews online for Crown of Flames. My book probably won’t appear on Amazon very long before the release date, however if you could have a review ready that would be amazing! And it’s already up on Goodreads, so a review there would be great too.

Everyone, please keep in mind the advanced copy of Crown of Flames you receive will only be partially edited. If you could overlook any errors, that would be greatly appreciated as Book 3 is still being worked on by me and my editor.

Thank you all for your consideration and for stopping by my blog today! I hope you’re as excited about Crown of Flames as I am and I look forward to sharing more about the book as we move closer and closer to the release!

Why 13 Reasons Why is Important to Me

The first time I watched the Netflix Original series 13 Reasons Why I couldn’t get through it. I had pushed through the novel of the same name by Jay Asher, giving it 3 1/2 stars at the time, but attempting to watch Season 1 of the difficult and brutal show when it was first released was too much for me. I was not in a very good place myself at that time, so watching a teenage girl’s life be slowly destroyed until she saw no other course of action than to kill herself wasn’t the wisest thing for me to be watching at the time. I skipped to the last episode, just to see the end results, and thought I would never revisit the series.

And yet …

When Season 2 released a few weeks ago, I found myself with the curiosity itch. What sort of material did they still have to go on for a second season when they could’ve left it the way it was at the end of season one? What was their motivation in continuing for another 13 episodes? Too curious to ignore it any further, I decided to give 13 Reasons Why another shot. Who knew I would be so compelled by the story this time around, I would binge watch both seasons in a single week?

Warning: I personally recommend 13 Reasons Why not be watched by anyone who is seriously depressed, is currently being bullied or abused, or even by someone who has been severely abused in the past and is still healing. If you want to experience this show and you have gone through or are going through similar trials, be sure to watch with a friend or adult who can support you through it. The content is graphic (one of the things I really struggled with), and includes depictions of physical, verbal, and sexual abuse as well as suicide.

Now, let’s get to the story and message behind the show. 13 Reasons Why is about teenager Hannah Baker, who chose to take her own life. What she left behind was a box of cassette tapes on which she recorded her 13 reasons for committing suicide. Each reason involves different students from her High School, and the tapes are being passed to each of them by an anonymous and trusted individual who also has copies of said tapes to publicize should any of the rules Hannah stipulates at the beginning of tape 1 be broken. We begin with the tapes being discovered on the front porch of one Clay Jensen. As he starts listening, we get the distinct impression he is not the first to have heard the tapes, and we soon discover we’re right. So who is Clay Jensen in all of this? Why is he on the tapes? And which of the thirteen tapes is his?

13 Reasons Why can be one of those shows you sit down to watch and, after an episode or two, you begin wondering why you’re watching it … yet you can’t stop. Walking with Hannah through her experiences at Liberty High School is tragic and heartbreaking. A horrible lie follows Hannah through the last couple of years of her life and things only build off of one bully’s idiotic course of action. All the little things pile on into one big thing, until the final act against Hannah’s dignity and self-worth drive her to end the torture once and for all.

I heard many different opinions about this series, as well as the book. I once saw a review where someone said Hannah’s reasons for committing suicide were stupid and she was just weak not to get through them. The way this reviewer saw this show was entirely different from what I was seeing. What may seem insignificant to one person, may not be insignificant to another. And when one small thing after another continuously happens, it can drag a person down so deeply that it destroys a life. Which is precisely what happens to Hannah Baker.

So why is 13 Reasons Why important? How could I find a show about suicide so compelling? Let me tell you, it’s hard to answer those questions. It’s so very hard to explain what I was thinking and feeling as I stayed up late into the night watching this show, needing to know what happened next. Needing to understand why the bright, funny, and seemingly happy girl Hannah Baker thought she had no other option than to kill herself.

Mixed with a parade of abuse, singular moments of happiness, and the ultimate assault that leaves Hannah empty inside, 13 Reasons Why is a dynamic story that had me gasping, crying, laughing, and furious at intervals. I know what you’re thinking. Laughing? Really? Well, let me tell you that’s how realistic this show was. Because Hannah’s life reflected reality–Hannah’s reality–in a way that translated perfectly to the screen. You can find happiness and laughter, even in the worst of times, but it doesn’t mean those split-second moments are big enough to overwhelm the darkness.

Many of you may have already read a previous blog post of mine entitled What You Never Saw When You Looked At MeYou can read it again HereIn this post, I speak of my own experiences with depression and how it nearly led me to a life altering decision. A decision Hannah ultimately made in this story.

I suppose, in the end, that’s why 13 Reasons Why was so important to me personally. What Hannah went through, her struggles and fears, her feelings of worthlessness–that nobody cared enough about her to truly see what she was going through and do something to save her–it was all so familiar to me, it struck me to my very core.

Sometimes, the message behind a story like this can’t be explained. It can’t be articulated properly. Sometimes, you just need to see it for yourself and take from it what was intended. Everyone is here for a reason, and Hannah’s wasn’t to commit suicide and glorify an act that devastates the lives left behind. If you see glory in what she did, then you’re not looking at the full picture. Because while her death united kids at her school who had beforehand never been friends; while it wove strength and love between the individuals left behind who blamed themselves for what she did, it also left a hole in their hearts and lives that can never be filled by another person. And while the hurt will slowly fade as the years pass, Hannah’s choice will forever hang over them.

Suicide is not an option. This show depicted, with a subtle beauty, how this act can change and shape lives. How it devastates and destroys. How it locks people in fear. How things don’t get better with the loss, but worse. For her family, for her friends, 13 Reasons Why Seasons 1 & 2 showed how Hannah’s decision, and what she left behind, determined the actions of not only the good kids in her school, but the monsters as well.

You never know when something you say could change a life. You never know when you, a good person, could say something seemingly innocent that consequently devastates a life. Know the signs. See people. Stop the cruelty. By your example, show others how they should treat people.

Be there for the Hannah Baker in your life. You might not know you have a Hannah Baker, but if you look closely enough … you might find one.

God Bless,


I ask that no negative or hurtful comments be left. If you attempt to leave a negative comment on this post, it will be deleted. Thank you.